This is the best idea I’ve had in a long time. Not because I didn’t have to write a post today (though that certainly didn’t hurt), but because of how refreshing and fun I think this is going to be. For, today’s post is a guest post by my lovely sister, the very same one who designed my lovely logo. (For the record, I have two sisters, and they’re both lovely.)
In light of my professor quotes post, we got to talking about said topic, and as it turns out, she’s been much better at writing down the quirky and absurd things her professors have said. I asked her if she’d want to write a guest post for my college series.
She very graciously acquiesced.
So without further ado, professor quotes, Art Major edition. Now with 10x more hearty chuckles.
professors’ greatest hits
Good day everyone! While I will be known as an anonymous writer for this post, let me begin by disclosing that I am very familiar with the college student life. As a junior in college, I have had my fair share of long-winded, sleep-inducing lectures on topics that somewhat interested me and those that truthfully did not relate to my major at all.
All a student can hope for is that somewhere within the lecture, there’s something that’s the least bit entertaining. Fortunately, I can say I have had many colorful and interesting professors that helped me feel like I was getting my money’s worth.
On that note, I present to you today a “Professors’ Greatest Hits” compilation that I gathered from my memory and past lecture notes. I would also like to disclaim that many quotes have been long forgotten (along with the lecture), which I am still sad about, so this is more like a sampler, really. Without further ado, here are a few of my favorite professor quotes.
Upon noticing how our full class was packed into a tiny room, my professor commented, “This class is so full we’re going to have to conserve air and take turns breathing. In fact, half of you don’t breathe at all. That’ll weed out the dumb ones.” He then follows this with, “You guys aren’t used to me yet,” and carries on with the lecture.
The next quote needs a little context in order to make sense, so I’ll do my best to paint the picture. The class was Art History, and my professor was explaining the history behind a certain building that involved the king of France and his multiple sons, in which only one was treated as the heir, which was customary at the time. My professor says, smile and all, “You might want to have a couple sons, ya know, just in case… It’s good to have a spare,” and then leaves it at that. I definitely interpreted it as a joke, however, my professor still said it so matter-of-factly it just made it all the more funny to me.
Some quotes can stand on their own and don’t need much context. In my opinion, those are the best kind of professor quotes. One in particular that really stuck with me, (and yes, this was from a professor), was “I only wear dresses and skirts because I think pants are really fucking uncomfortable.”
#4: legends never die
Another great one-liner was from an art teacher who was explaining some great artists and some of their print media-related work. My teacher said, “Matisse made this print when he was like, 95. These people never die.”
And finally, I would like to end with a classic. I once had a teacher who, in response to a student’s conversation, stated, “Don’t hug a panda bear. It’s still a bear.” Great advice that I carry with me to this day.
I by no means intend to make fun of professors by collecting these quotes. In fact, my intention is the opposite. I have had so many wonderful teachers and instructors, and these quotes serve as small pieces of evidence that I actually enjoyed their class, despite the subject and its relevance (or lack thereof) to my interests . Hopefully, this serves as an ode to all awesome educators out there who entertain their students with freedom of speech.
Feel free to add to this list with your own favorite professor or teacher quotes!