how to be human

You know those security tests a lot of sites have these days that require you to check a box that says “I’m not a robot” and/or type a group of random characters and/or select all the photos that have streetlights in them?

Screen Shot 2019-12-10 at 8.39.18 PM
oh look! i passed that one!

Well, the other day I had one of those that prefaced with, “Prove that you’re human.”

And I’m like, “I… can’t.”

Which made me question the nature of my humanity, obviously.

I’m pretty guarded about what I say about myself on the internet. For good reason, I would say. But I realized that when it comes to blogging, you have to come off like a real human, you know, with a personality and stuff? And though I don’t necessarily think I’m a totally dry piece of toast when I write, I also try to reveal as little about myself as possible.

Now, there’s another reason for this other than privacy: I think it’s self-indulgent to talk about yourself all the time, even on a personal blog. I don’t mean to judge any of the incredible bloggers who do use a lot of personal anecdotes–but often, the best ones know how to make it compelling and relatable for the audience, how to balance their own stories and experiences with something informative or engaging.

It’s kind of an art, but I know this much: you have to be able to do a little of both.

So, for better or worse, I’m going to talk about myself a little bit. Well, let me clarify: in the spirit of the top 5 tuesday, I’m going to list 5 things about myself that I hope will help me seem more human.

Because I’m definitely human. I think.

 

1. i have an english degree

I guess that explains why I feel qualified to blog about writing, but I’m not sure it helps my case for my humanity. I mean, have you ever met an English major?

englishmajor

 

2. i am unpublished

Very, very, very unpublished. But, as I say on my homepage, I’m working towards the goal of becoming published, someday, somehow. Anybody know any good literary agents seeking YA sci-fi or fantasy?

In the meantime, allow me to shamelessly plug my unpublished short stories!

The Enemy of the Enemy

The Sink

 

3. i am slightly neurotic

I don’t want to say this is just a writer thing, even though it is definitely common amongst writers. And I’m not about to act like I’m the only writer/blogger/millennial on earth who’s neurotic. I have it on good authority that it is considered a human trait, and it is certainly one I happen to possess.

 

4. i am a nerd

Don’t be fooled by my totally cool and en vogue internet persona. I mean, only cool people use the word “malarky,” am I right? But alas, I confess: I’m a total nerd. Avatar the Last Airbender, Lord of the Rings, the MCU… even Harry Potter and Star Wars when I’m in the right mood. (I WILL write a post on The Mandalorian. I will!) What can I say? I enjoy a good storyline and some good worldbuilding… I don’t get hardcore into fandoms but, you know, I keep my ears open. I enjoy a good meme from time to time. Like this one!

avatar

 

5. i am (charmingly?) awkward

I guess this goes hand in hand with being a nerd, eheheh? I try not to consider myself socially awkward because when it comes down to it, I can function pretty normally (or at least appear to) in social settings–it just depends on where I am and who’s around. But when I’m not imitating my surroundings, I’m really quite odd. I suck at small talk, I don’t know how to integrate into established groups, finding a lunch table was uncomfortable until my last day of college, and I have a very unconventional sense of humor. So yeah. But that’s kinda charming, right? Like a one-legged seagull? I saw one of those once. So awkward.


I’m sure this was at least marginally convincing, but don’t go sending me any “Are you a robot?” tests anytime soon. Might not pass. Depends on the day.

In what ways are you somewhat human? I’m curious to know. Not because I’m researching human behavior or anything like that… I’m just asking a friendly question. You know, like humans do?

zim

 

Images via Pinterest, knowyourmeme.com, and reddit

Featured image by ergoneon from Pixabay

3 thoughts on “how to be human

  1. I’ve found that, aside from expert professions, it really doesn’t matter what your major is. Degrees are just gatekeepers to better jobs. My best friend got her bachelors in English and is now an executive with a large IT corporation. Never wrote a line of code or networked computers in her life. Lol.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s so true 😂 jobs generally just like the fact that you have a degree, period. Even though it’s sort of a running joke that you can’t do anything with an English major, it’s really not true at all—you can basically do whatever, and you’re right, the same goes for most other degrees.

      Liked by 1 person

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